Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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