But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
