we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
