i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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