We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
