we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
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and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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