you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize