At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
