this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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