Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
