i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
