Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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