Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
