There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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