He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
