life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
