Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
