Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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