I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
