I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
