i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Randomize