Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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