i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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