Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
