just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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