Plan B is the new Plan A
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
