I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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