i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
