I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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