after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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