I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
