Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
