I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
