New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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