How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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