You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
