I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
