im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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