What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
