I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize