The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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