Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
