i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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