Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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