omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
