how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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