we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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