Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
