I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
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Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
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Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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