The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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