So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize