i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
