I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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