I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize