we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
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You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
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Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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