Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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