he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I smell like Dick and happiness
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
