I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize