Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
