where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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