Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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