i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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