I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
