I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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