No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
