Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
