He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
