so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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