it wasn't lemon gatorade
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
