she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
